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The Assertiveness Workbook: How to Express Your Ideas and Stand up for Yourself At Work and in Relationships, by Randy Paterson
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clean copy no marks or highlights
- Sales Rank: #877866 in Books
- Published on: 2000
- Number of items: 1
- Binding: Hardcover
Most helpful customer reviews
7 of 7 people found the following review helpful.
Great how-to book
By Sunny Side Up
I was looking for a good step by step guide on how to become more assertive. A lot of books on the topic talk about the psychology behind a lack of assertiveness, which is not helpful to those who understand the root of a lack of assertiveness but want to get to the next step of being more assertive. I was happy to see this book was the how-to book I was looking for. I liked this flow of this book. Most helpful is the chapter on the script to use (DESO) to confront someone. The earlier chapters lead up to this script by explaining and using examples of assertive vs aggressive, passive, and passive-aggressive behavior.
4 of 4 people found the following review helpful.
Great!!
By Thi
Great!!! Basically a handbook on how to be an assertive self-respecting person. As someone who grew up in an unhealthy family Asian household without positive role models, this fills in a lot of gaps I was missing. So helpful if you struggle with passivity and low self esteem.
10 of 11 people found the following review helpful.
Readable, workable, and fun
By Joyce
It is my experience that few people have strong communication skills -- are capable of gracefully disagreeing, giving opinions, asserting boundaries, confronting people. Most of us either go along with others, try to pacify, avoid confrontation and never say "No," (the passive style) or we boss others around, intimidate them, and force them to give in to "our way" (the aggressive style). There is also the passive-aggressive style which attacks indirectly in order not to take responsibility -- by forgetting, having "accidents," being late, or being slow in responding to a request agreed to. AND sometimes, hopefully more and more, we use the assertive style. The essence of assertiveness is assuming responsibility for your own behavior and acknowledging your thoughts and preferences honestly while also respecting the feelings and opinions of others. Paterson notes that each of these styles is used by all of us at one time or another; and we each have a style we use most.
The book is an excellent handbook which will increase your awareness of yourself and others in all interactions. Further, the author guides you step by step into increasing your flexibility of responses. First, Paterson has assessments for determining which of these four styles you use most. He also explores how we learn these behaviors and when it is appropriate to use each. Beginning with the easiest situations in your own life, you start practicing the assertive style. One of my favorite exercises was called: A Walk in Town. The idea is to practice overcoming passivity by the way you walk. You use a favorite actor or dancer as a model of confidence. The best guide for me was: let your chest enter the room first, not your nose. Although the subtitle of the book emphasizes overcoming passivity, this book is also for those who are overly aggressive. Aggressive persons might be less likely to perceive a problem, but overuse of the aggressive style usually indicates a fear of being out of control and tends to keep us distant from others. This book is a fine resource for personal relationships, for work situations, or conflict management. It is readable, workable, and fun.
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